So, I haven’t updated in awhile. This could be for number of factors, I’ll let you decide which one. Kind of those Choose Your Own Adventure books that I always made fun of others for reading.

A) Too busy eating everything in sight.
B) Being exhausted while growing a human child in my woman and attending to another outside of it.
C) Planning our year long trip around the world.

Obviously, C, because thats how we roll.

Actually, thats not how we roll at all, but damn, that would be cool.

GUESS WHAT? I”M IN MY THIRD TRIMESTER. I have about ten weeks to go and I am so excited about this. I’m excited to give birth and hold our newest baby. I’m excited to see what this little sandwich grabber is going to look like. I’m excited to show off our family to the world.

I’m also excited to drink a glass of wine, get my six pack back, and work on my tan. JUST KIDDING! I never had a six pack. The other things still apply.

Two of my girlfriends also just recently had babies, so I am in the baby mood extra intensely lately. Like, I’m going to kidnap your newborn kind of intense. Obviously I won’t do that because then I’d not only be stuck with TWO babies, I’d also probably end up in jail without any baby gifts.

30 Weeks Pregnant and I feel:

Large and in charge.
Bitchy (I can usually suppress this by staying away from everyone)
Lazy (I can usually suppress this with $)
Emotional (There is no way possible to suppress this)

Last night I tried to bake cookies for one of my friends who just had her baby since I was going to see her this morning. Have I mentioned before that I absolutely suck at baking? I do. I can’t bake worth shit. But a few times a year I Google BEST CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES EVER for the awesomest, best taxing, no fail recipe and say to myself “Only an idiot who can’t READ cannot bake.”

Untrue. I can read.

In a fit of emotional distress, after having baked the cookies last night and tasting one with Dustin in the kitchen, I threw the cookie in the sink with a force of nature.

I even said “FUCKKKKKKK THIS!!!!!!”

Because the cookies tasted like shit.

Those are pregnancy emotions right there. They came out of nowhere. I do not believe I have ever thrown something at a non-person before. It felt pretty good, actually. I don’t know what was more upsetting. That I would be showing up to my friends house cookie-less, or that I wasted an entire one pound chocolate easter bunny.

I’m going to say wasting the chocolate.