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We need a sleep solution.
We can’t go on like this.
I can’t go on like this.
We need a sleep solution, or tranquilizers.
I tried watching Supernanny for tips but that just resulted in me talking in a horrible english accent for a few hours.
The kid will not fall asleep on her own.
I must lay there repeating the sleep mantra “Close your eyes and go to sleep!” 600 times before she passes out.
I’ve tried laying down with her (current “solution”) – and this takes hours to do. HOURS. HOURS I need to be working or cleaning or taking a fricken shower alone for once without some blonde haired kid chucking barbies at me.
I’ve tried sitting in a chair beside her bed. (This works, but I still sit there for HOURS – plus I get a kink in my neck and can’t turn to the right for three days)
I’ve tried duct taping her to her bed, but she chewed through it (bike chains might be better?).
I’ve tried Google (bunch of idiot suggestions), and books (that lady sure doesn’t SOUND like she’s ever put a toddler to sleep…), and forums and threads (weird internet people advice).
I’ve tried cuddles and songs, but I’m not putting a fairytale/Disney baby to sleep.
Its time for an intervention.
Without crackheads and cameras, though.
How do you get your child to sleep without a handful of baby tylenol and or pulling your hair out?

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