In no particular order:

1: Deena off of Jersey Shore. That is one scary troll. Her lips frighten me and her face always looks like its melting.

2: Public washrooms. I will hold it for as long as possible before using public restrooms. I am afraid of contracting salmonella and/or cheeseitis or whatever the hell is on toilet seats.

3: Tequilla. Let’s just say the one and only time I ever drank tequilla, I stole someones cat (who looked identical to my cat) that I found in the lobby of my old apartment building, because I was sure my cat had escaped and somehow made his way down the elevator. I woke up sleeping on the bathroom floor the next am with some crazy cat in my hallway that wasn’t mine.

4: Cotton Balls: Not only can I NOT remove the cotton balls that come shoved in the bottle of pills and vitamins, even just thinking about cotton balls make me get goosebumps and I feel vomit-ish.

5: Ke$ha: Girl needs some body wash and a speech pathologist.

6: Centipedes\Bugs with too many legs: WTF how many legs do you need!? Get those things away from me. Whenever I crush or kill any bugs I always think to myself “That’s right…tell your friends, guy.”

7: Seafood: Although I do enjoy catfood canned tuna.

8: Sake: I tried this once and I do not know how people drink this WILLINGLY without a gun pointed at their crotch.


9: The Charmin toilet paper commercial where the bears tell us “Look, there’s no more white chunks on my ass when I wipe anymore.”

10: L’s diaper after she has eaten a pepperoni stick.