So this was Lillienne at the Children’s Festival this afternoon. She was a kitty. Obviously. Afterwards we came home and she went directly for a nap. When she woke up, her war paint was still on, if a bit smudged. Hey, I thought. I have paints! I can touch it up so when Dustin comes home he can witness the cuteness for himself! And I did have paints. Oil based paints that I used and didn’t notice how horrible they smelled until I was nearly finished. I chose black and red and even added some very impressive black eyebrows. Because kitties totally have eyebrows and the girl at the park didnt give Lillienne eyebrows. And then Lillienne started wiping her face and the paint wasnt drying and it was getting everywhere. I had tried to do some innocent face painting and began having visions about painting some extremely toxic paint on my kids face and causing a rash or some severe allergy and oh shit what if she ingests it, oh there now her fist is in her mouth, I have to get this stuff off now, where is a washcloth? Why did I do this, anyway? She still looked pretty darn cute even if some rubbed off on her sheets while she was….why isnt this coming off? Is it staining her…it is, it’s staining her eyebrows and cheeks black…oh F&$@ I just remembered I’m supposed to go shopping in PUBLIC in ten minutes with my mother and my sister and this BABY with black greasy paint everywhere…make up remover??? Hmmm. For a moment she looked like a baby Hitler / Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and YES I managed to clean her up instead of grabbing the camera, because come on, who do you think I am, anyway?
**And before you call social services, I checked and my paints were made with flaxseed oil.