So last night was the first complete night I have spent away from Lillienne. Once, I attempted to go out with the girls and stay the night at one of their houses, but I ended up having heart palpitations and breathing problems and had to come home to my child. But this time, I did it. I spent the night away from her. We spent the night at a friends cabin while Granny slept at our house and babysat. So really, I was an hour away from my baby, and I didn’t like it. I didn’t like the feeling that If (IF) something were to happen, we were an hour away from the city, and basically useless. Also, we were in a sort of valley, so there was zero cell phone reception, and I almost had a heart attack. Eventually I relaxed and downed a few beer and was able to enjoy myself. Until the migraine from the underworld showed up and put me in bed by 1am. And then I dreamed about bad things, accidents happening, AND MY CELL WAS OFF, and people were trying to get ahold of me, and I slept so fitfully because I kept wondering which hospital emergency room Lillienne was at, and did she finally manage to chew through the laptop cord, and was she screaming for me, unable to eat or breathe without her mama. Ahem. Ego check.
She was fine. She slept through the night, she wasn’t hurt and she was with her Granny.
So, this weekend, I have realized how attached I am to my small child, how anal I am, and that I checked my cell phone so I could just look at Lillienne’s picture every 16 seconds while I was away from her.
I have also realized I do not care to be separated from my small child for longer than a few hours, ever again. Even if she does shit pears out her ass all the way up her back and chews my laptop cord and eats all of my yogurt.
On the OTHER hand, I did have a great time with good friends, yummy food, a warm bed and lots of chatter. And cold, cold beer.

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