The first few days when Lillienne was born, I didn’t sleep. I slept four out of the ninety six hours I was in the hospital. I think someone eventually gave me something to sleep while I was in there, and it was b.l.i.s.s.
But hey! Guess what! It’s been almost seven months since Lillienne was born. AND I STILL CANT SLEEP. How many other new mothers out there gave birth to a baby and a new, insomniac version of themselves?
I do not sleep well. At All. Ever. And taking a nap? BAHAHA.
Pre baby? I could sleep standing up. I would fall asleep watching movies, fall asleep while folding laundry, fall asleep ANYWHERE. And when I went to bed at night? Get this, it’s really crazy- I would FALL ASLEEP WITHOUT DRUGS.
No, the reason is not because Lillienne cries all night, or because I have nightmares, or because Dustin’s dutch ovens keep me awake. Lillienne sleeps from 10pm until at least 8am, and she sleeps through the night like a champ. I just can’t fall asleep on my own. I’m broken.
I lay there watching the still shadows on the wall. I’ll stare at the fan, the wall, anything. I’ll close my eyes for three hours and then open them, thinking WTF AM I STILL AWAKE FOR?


I’m not sure if something got disconnected after having le baby, but I now rely on over the counter sleeping pills to help me fall asleep at night. Does anyone else have this problem?
Way back when when I first popped the kid out, my Dr. had given me some GREAT prescription sleeping pills because Hey! I’m a new mom! AND I DONT SLEEP! They were fantastic. I renewed the prescription twice, I believe, then I decided to just get the cheap OTC stuff, because it made me feel that much less of a drug addict. They are pretty much the same, but the OTC stuff doesnt kick in as fast, and I can actually walk STRAIGHT down the hall way instead of bumping into walls the whole way to the bedroom on the prescription stuff. I have tried the herbal stuff which is the equivalent of taking sugar pills. They don’t do anything but taunt you and make you THINK you might get sleepy, but infact you took them two hours ago, you’re making muffins at midnight and burping up rank, herbal shit because the pills were the size of brand new eraser filled with disgusting, natural remedies that DO NOT DO ANYTHING. I’ve tried it all. Warm milk (Fucking gross!), baths, reading, dim lights, listening to Dustin go on and on and on and on.. nothing helps. Except pills. I welcome all of your suggestions….surely I can’t be the only one…..

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