1. Your baby wont die if you put a dropped pacifier back into its mouth.

2. Exploding shitty diapers will occur frequently.

3. You will have to taste-test the disgusting concoction of pablum, carrots and corn for the right temperature. Daily.

4.Babies feet can SMELL! Just as rank as any adults foot.

5. Your child WILL projectile vomit on your new white zip-up.

6. Shit stains on washcloths, the new sleeper you just bought, the handmade quilt from granny, and shit under your nails.

7. Being a Mother is the greatest, most fullfilling, exciting, adventurous and enchanting thing in this world.

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